Although you do need to know what you’re doing to succeed in business, all too often it’s more about who you know, not what you know. Most people need help when trying to launch a new venture or career. How do you find this help? I’ve talked about networking by helping others, but what if you’re unable to assist in a way that is helpful to your prospective contact?

Connecting with people is a talent that a lot of outgoing people are able to do without thinking. They are naturally gregarious and people tend to feel at ease around them. For people like me who are more introverted and connect more readily with computers than with people, it takes conscious effort. But it’s definitely doable.

If you’re like me, most people talk more in conversation than you do. You know what this makes you? A great listener. The easiest way to get people to like you is to be interested in them. Notice I said to be interested, not simply to appear interested. You can pretend all you like, but if you’re not naturally outgoing, chances are you’re not going to be very good at it. Their bullshit detector will eventually figure you out.

Wait a minute, you can’t possibly have an interest in everything that other people like! True, but you also don’t have to befriend everyone you meet. The best alliances are those forged by mutual interests. Passion is a driving force for a lot of people, and if you share that passion, chances are they’ll want you involved. So your job while networking is not to get people to like you, it’s for you to discover mutual interests. This is where your listening abilities come in. You don’t like talking about yourself? That’s perfect, because most other people do. Ask them about themselves, listen to what they have to say. The ironic thing is, the more interested you are in people, the more interesting you become to them!

Sincerity requires no skill. Just be yourself, and if the person you are conversing with just doesn’t interest you at all, there’s no need to pursue that relationship. Just move on. The right people will eventually find you if you make yourself available for them.